The Corrupting of Good

Confronting My Potential for Evil in the Pursuit of Utopia

Photo by Chelsea shapouri on Unsplash

Jesus spent much of his time on earth, speaking and living a life of truth in the face of empire. It even got him killed. Yet, for centuries, the church has not always followed Jesus’s teachings. It has even colluded with the principalities and powers. But, how did the original spirit of the gospel lose itself?

From a historical perspective, Richard Rohr explains that it happened like this:

In Israel, Jesus incited a movement that offered New Life.

Then, the movement moved to Greece and became philosophy.

Then, it relocated to Rome and became organized religion.

After that, it moved on to Europe and became culture.

And finally, it moved to America and became business.

As Christianity mutated through history, Jesus’s radical message became adulterated by the themes of the eras. The gospel became tethered to things that had nothing to do with Jesus’s message. And than that became the gospel. Yet, in each of these iterations, loving and humble people still emerged.

People like William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, who once said, “The chief dangers which confront the coming century will be religion without the Holy Ghost, Christianity without Christ…” Or, Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. who said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” Pope Francis says, “A disciple of Jesus is light when he or she knows how to live their faith outside narrow spaces, helping to eliminate prejudices, slander, and bringing the light of truth into situations tainted by hypocrisy and lies.”

There have always been Christian visionaries seeking to live out the truth of Jesus Christ — the message of inherent human value, equality, and love. Baked into our shared history are people with the wisdom to parse out Jesus from ideas with which he has been wrongly ensnared — from gnosticism to hyper-individuality.

Throughout the journey of Christianity, the gospel never stopped converting seeking hearts. No matter what the overarching way of thinking, living, or doing business was, imperfect people were reshaped into new beings. Grace flowed through the ages.

How do we use our time to ensure that we are being imbued by the Christianity that’s not the Christianity of business, culture, philosophy, or organized religion? But, the actual truth of Christianity spurred in Palestine by a brown-eyed Jewish man?

The answer lies in cultivating a humble spirit of teachability through seeking answers to hard questions, and developing a prayer life. This must be done in the pursuit and spirit of love. In essence, we become spiritually active. Without doing such things, we are more likely to induce pain on ourselves, on others, and even on our societies.

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When I was 20, I visited a German concentration camp, near Hamburg called Neuengamme. At the time, they had an extensive exhibition on why people became Nazis. After World War I, Germany’s economy was in steep decline, thanks to reparation payments demanded by former enemy countries. The German people lived with resentment, humiliation, and barely enough dry bread to subsist on. They waited in food lines, their money was worthless, and millions were without work. They had lost their dignity.

During this vulnerable time, a man called Adolf Hitler materialized. A vegetarian who loved children and animals, he seemed good and moral. He looked at the German people lovingly and affirmed their suffering. He seduced them with the lie that they were the chosen people. He pinpointed the source of their deep pain and offered A Final Solution. He presented them a vision for volksgemeinschaft or “national community.” He told them “You are needed for something great and important. Come!” In Nazism, they found hope, and purpose.

Out of love for Germany, and with a vision for national renewal, many joined the current. They had celebrations with pomp and fanfare to commemorate their official membership to the party. These damaged and humiliated people had a noble mission of returning the world to it’s rightful owners — the superior Aryan race. They would unite in solidarity to end misery and make the world as it should. They would be the ones rightfully in the seats of power. Paradise awaited.

As I stood, in that museum, looking at a map of Germany freckled with hundreds of concentration camps, I pondered the variables guiding the masses towards Nazism. Their magnetic leader, their suffering evolving into hope, a vision of peace and community… And then, a metaphorical baseball bat slammed into my conscious as I realized:

“I think I would have been a Nazi.”

My stomach felt nauseous. I stood paralyzed, punched with shame and shock. My skin crawled at this awful epiphany.

How would I have not gotten caught up in the pageantry of Nazism? Being a part of a new movement that would permanently fix the world of it’s woes would be intoxicating! Attending a Hitler Youth Camp, burning books, energetically marching in step with my fellow comrades, and having intimate conversations about our new cause would have been the highlight of my 20 year-old life. And who could argue with me about the fallacy of my Nazi thinking? I would have said that I’m a superior race, probably citing the polished language of the bogus science that said so. What would have made me any different than all those Germans? Up until that moment, in my youthful arrogance, I always assumed I’d be on the right side of history. Of course, I’d hide Jews in my house! I’m a good person.

But, Nazis thought they were a good people too. They truly believed in their seemingly honorable cause. With all their hearts, they thought history would show the world how right they were.

On the bus ride back to the city, the girls I spent the day with chatted about how they couldn’t believe the Germans would commit such atrocities. I remained silent and averted my eyes out the window. I couldn’t stop thinking, “I might’ve been a Nazi.” I had encountered my shadow. What kind of person was I? Would I have let the hate grow in me as to even march the problem into gas chambers? To see my own potential for evil was chilling. The question emerged in my thoughts — How do I know if I’m good?

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Melita Maschmann — a former Nazi who had the courage to face herself — says in her memoir: “Account Rendered: A Dossier on my Former Self”

“We let ourselves become accomplices of a policy of hatred and banditry[…] Without noticing it ourselves, we gradually slipped into the attitude that the end justified the means.”

We can harden ourselves into tyranny. Our thoughts lead to our words that lead to our actions which can contaminate our character. The slow change starts almost imperceptibly. I have seen those around me, Christian and not, gradually harden their hearts by first speaking unkindly of others. Then, their speech devolves into a superior sneer, and then a mocking hate. They give challenging questions a wide berth and defend their dilapidated ideas — refusing to listen to those with whom they disagree. They become unteachable. All the while, they are unaware of this hardening occurring in their psyche as they obliviously assume I’m a good person.

There is a good chance that my 20 year-old former self would have been convinced of Nazism, given my naïvete. But, I hope my current self has gained the discernment to see through camouflaged lies. I have done the very uncomfortable act of feebly pointing the finger inwards — at least occasionally, to some extent. Divine Intervention showed me my own potential for evil. I am not blind to the carnage I am capable of creating.

Jesus once said, “No one is good except God alone.”

I do not assert to be a good person.

Instead, I pray:

Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Oh God, grant us a discerning spirit to follow your path to love. May we not be corrupted by false ideas wrongly attached to the gospel of Jesus. May we be on the right side of history — bending the arc towards justice. Amen.

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Divine Nature is intended to heal, inspire, and cultivate hope—thus, it is given freely.

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